The Room of Doom (A Re-Post from My Old Blog)

These two girls are adorable. Like, you have not seen cuteness until you’ve seen Abigail and Rebekah. I’m not exaggerating. Okay, maybe a little bit.

But I’m not exaggerating when I say that they are the most interesting little kids I have ever met. Ever.

For example, this week  I’m in their sisters’ room and Rebekah comes over to me and says, “Philip can rule the world.”

And then Abigail is all like, “And my ghostie took away all your bionics.”

Ugh.

They didn’t even pay attention to me until last year… not really. Then I made the mistake of telling them about bionics from the TV show, The Six Million Dollar Man, and it all went downhill from there.

First they gave me bionics, which was awesome. Then came the rules.

“You have to run around the tree in your front yard six times every day if you want to keep your bionics.” Or, “Here’s an invisible alien and its invisible cage. You have to feed it lava every six hours OR ELSE IT WILL EAT YOU and you’ll be dead.”

This went on for a few months, and then I got stuck with 80 aliens, all of which had to live in my closet and then one day EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM got out and ran down the street on fire and I had to run out and catch them all.

Around March, everything cleared up though.

Rebekah pegged me as soon as I walked through the door. “Sarah! Come back to my room.” I didn’t really have a choice, since she grabbed my arm with a death grip and hauled me back there (I’m not kidding, that girl is seriously strong. Never mind that she’s six. Don’t judge).

Abigail was already there, arms crossed. “Sit down,” she commanded. I started to sit on the bed and got told, “NO! You have to sit on the floor.”

Rebekah was rummaging around in a drawer, but once I sat down she came over all evil-like and grinned. “We’ve got to do surgery.”

Oh gravy. “No way!” I yelled. “That is totally, majorly, like seriously not cool in any way, shape, or form.”

Glances were traded as they did that sister-telepathy thing. Abigail said, “Weeeell… if we don’t do surgery, you can’t rule the world.”

“Okay,” I said, “Knock me out.”

Roughly one minute later, I, Sarah, was the sole ruler of the world. Bet you never even knew, huh?

Yeah, that’s cause the NEXT week when I walked in they cornered me and said smugly, “Sorry, you didn’t do a very good job so we’re taking away your bionics and-” horror of horrors- “letting Philip rule the world.”

I promptly fell over and pretended to pass out.

Thus ensued months of “battles” between Philip and myself for world power, bionics, aliens, etc. One Sunday, the girls threw Philip in their closet after he and I had had “sleep-talking” conversations much to their delight. They then proceeded to tell me that the closet was a prison and Philip had been carried to China by a tornado. I wrung my hands.

“Now he’s on the edge of Dog Mountain where there are the Dog Falls which is poisonous green lava- oh, now he’s going down it in the prison. I don’t think he’ll live.”

I wailed and threw myself against the door. “PHILIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

The girls burst into giggles and I pulled the door open. Philip was there on the floor, giving me a short grin and then stumbling out gasping, “Ooooh, that was terrible!! I don’t know if I’ll… if I’ll…” *COLLAPSES ONTO THE FLOOR IN A FAKE FAINT*

So yeah, it’s crazy.

The most recent addition to the Room of Doom are the “Ghosties”- otherwise known as silicone-covered square alarm clocks that float around quite creepily. I wasn’t too fond of these pink and purple friends until this Sunday, when Abigail said that she not only gave me all my bionics back (after her older sister took them away) she ALSO made me ruler of the world and did something mysterious that would ensure that my poor, dear, brother would never usurp my dictatorship ever again.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A brief overview of my pre-church Sunday mornings from Sarah, your new master- er, President. Heh-heh.

Love,

Her royal majesty, Queen of Planet Earth,  Sarah.

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